Walking along a passageway connecting the different subway lines. In front and slightly to the left of me, a man suddenly lights a cigarette and starts drawing on it rapidly. A cloud of smoke billows right into my face. He turns around and catches my disapproving glance at his hand holding the cigarette.
He mutters something I can’t quiet make out, not an apology, a question. Since his general appearance isn’t exactly confidence inspiring, I ignore him and walk on. He drops back to fall in beside me, still smoking compulsively.
Him (false smile): “How are you?”
I continue walking, ignoring him after another short glance, not quiet a smile on my face. Not an unfriendly expression, but not one inviting further conversation either.
Him (slightly louder): “Are you a lesbian? You act like a lesbian!”
How exactly did he arrive at that conclusion? I don’t like cigarettes (being smoked in a public building where smoking has been prohibited for more years than I can remember), so I must be a lesbian? I don’t feel like talking to a smoking, smelly, badly dressed stranger with no manners, so I must be a lesbian? You haven’t got laid in a long time have you? And when you did, I’m just guessing here, but correct me if I’m wrong, your charming manner wasn’t the transaction’s currency.
Unfortunately, while I would have liked to come up with a witty, cutting reply to his bit of idiocy, at the time I was simply too unprepared to react at all and just kept walking, trying hard not to laugh.
He ignores me after that and takes a different train, still smoking as he gets on.